are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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