if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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