You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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