addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
