he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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