And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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