laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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