She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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