I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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