just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
