I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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