His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
