dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
