so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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