I can text with my tongue
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
