so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
