Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
