I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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