just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
