i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize