I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
