Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize