I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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