i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
