2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
