If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize