That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
