The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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