PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
