You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Need sex. Gaining weight.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
