apparently the secret to your success is patron
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
