I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
