I wish my penis had an off switch
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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