Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
