p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
