Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
