Plan B is the new Plan A
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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