You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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