I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
