I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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