I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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