Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
