You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We left an ass print on the piano.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
