I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
