I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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