Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
