69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize