anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
