Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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