In the future we'll all be gay
high people should be assigned attendants
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
A+ Viking dick
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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