You just made me feel so damn special
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize