Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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