smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
