Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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