Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
