you will always have a special place in my vag
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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