We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
