so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i used baking grease as lip gloss
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
