Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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