According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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