I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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