dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
