god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
