it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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