I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I could fuck to npr.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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