Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
