I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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