my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
