im drinking this country out of the recession.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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