Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
