Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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