He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
