Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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