my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
