I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
