My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize